This one was written as a COMMENT in bb’s blog in 2006! OMG bb, now I know how much I have imposed on you before. (hehe, good thing you didn’t charge me by words!) Thank you so much for being so nice and tolerant of me :
Like most BYJ fans, I started knowing BYJ from ‘Winter Sonata’. First attracted by his ‘out-of-this-world’ gorgeous looks and subtle acting. But there is something more ….something about this man’s warmth, kindness and gentleness which invites people to approach him. It did not come without any struggle though. I was in denial for the longest time, trying to shake off that temptation. I have a happy marriage with a great husband and an adorable son. I’m not supposed to have room in my heart for another man, let alone a man I haven’t even met! That guilt became so real when my normally open-minded mother-in-law started questioning me with her piercing eyes at every dinner get together, “are you still watching that Korean actor?”, then turned to her poor son with a sympathetic glance. (hehe I am happy to report that my mother-in-law has since been ‘converted’ to a dedicated BYJ fan! The power of our King!) A girlfriend even worried that I might be interested in her husband since I turn my eyes to a Korean man outside of wedlock (oh please, after one glance at BYJ, who has eyes for any other man?!) It’s not easy to walk around with that guilt and accusation, so I do attempt to contain my excitement around these ‘sensible and logical’ people.
Getting physically attracted to him is one thing, but here comes the killer! After learning about his sincere character, conscientious work ethics and noble philosophy in life, I am drawn into a huge black hole and can never emerge. Behind that soft and gentle outer appearance, there lies the most determined and principled man. He’s warm yet distant, shy yet outspoken, easy going yet uncompromising, serious yet playful, a lone wolf yet with many trusted allies…… It’s this kind of contrasting qualities which set him apart, making him a breed of his own. It’s so often said that we tend to be attracted to people who are physically or characteristically familiar to us (that’s why some married couples even look alike!). I always feel that any BYJ fan can identify with at least one or more of his qualities, that’s why she feels that closeness and attraction towards him, as if he’s a part of her family. As for me, there happens to be 2 people whom I love dearly in my life who resemble some of his beautiful facial features. That’s why I feel that closeness to him as if I’ve known him all my life. Which one of his many qualities can you ladies identify with him?
That leads me to discuss him calling his fans ‘family’. Quoted from BYJ about his fans :
“I regard them as my family. They trust me unconditionally, they trust me whatever incidents may happen. Only family do so, isn’t it? They consider me as their family member too. They feel it in their hearts”
Maybe I am a simple girl who always accepts whatever’s given to me at face value. So I said to myself contentedly, “Hey, way cool! I have no problem of him calling me family. If he takes me in, I’ll take him in too.” This Asian superstar does not have a fan club since his debut, never had one, never wanted one. Considering his fan base consists primarily of middle-aged housewives with limited internet knowledge, yet he respects and treasures them more than any entertainment tycoons or political heavyweights. Remember what was the driving force behind his Beijing visit? The 10,000 signatures from the Chinese sisters, not any monetary return! What about his Singaporean visit in 2004? He didn’t employ any PR company to plan his functions, instead he placed his entire trust to his Singaporean family to organize his fan meetings. Think about when you visit your family overseas, will you hire a travel agency to plan your itinerary or will you leave it to your family to take you around? It has been proven time after time that BYJ has always put his family first in everything he does.
This is the famous response from his family (sorry I don’t know the origin, Joonsfamily?) and it’s been my guidelines as a fan :
“To laugh with him, to cry with him. To protect him but give him the space to grow. To give him a push when he needs a lift but offers a safe shelter if he needs a rest. To offer him suggestions but respect his final decision. To give him support and love him. We may not be there for him. He may not know each and everyone of us but he will be able to draw strength and comfort from us.… For we are his family.”
You know these lines, as beautiful as they may sound, point out a helpless reality that BYJ family are spread all over the world, many of us can only love him remotely and quietly. Yet when I witnessed how the sisters comfort and support BYJ and each other during the ups and downs, I realized how wise, appropriate and powerful these words are!
So after wasting a whole lot of blog space and everyone’s precious time, I still don’t make much sense, do I? Actually, I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say (or am I starting to grasp that abstract concept of blogging now?). Now I bet you wish there were a software to compress (or better yet, written by another articulate sister), this passage of rambling could probably be condensed to 10 words or less! Well, until that software is invented, sorry that you’ll have to suffer my long-windedness one more time. To be honest, I still haven’t figured out how and where I am heading in this BYJ journey. For sure I know finding and loving BYJ overflows my heart with immense sweet feelings. Meeting and talking to the sisters injects tremendous warmth and happiness in my life. Hopefully with any luck (actually tons of luck), we can even meet Yong Joon, shake his hands, hug him, smell him, kiss him ……. (OK, OK, I’d better stop dreaming. I’m probably too sleepy and start hallucinating. As most Chinese sisters know this : Sir Chow is summoning me! Nighty night!)