Thursday, October 2, 2008

No way out?

Hi dear sisters ..... am in a bit of melancholic mood today. It wasn't intended to begin that way, but I was disturbed to read about the suicide death of Korean actress Choi Jin Sil. Despite her career success, she had many sad events happened in her life. What struck me is 'the high number of suicides among Korean stars'? We all heard about how competitive and cruel the entertainment industry is. How much pressure and restrictions an actor has to face from the media, studios and the audience? But what drove these Korean stars to a point where they thought there was no way out? And why so many and so frequent in Korea??

I am sure the North American entertainment industry is many times more complex and bigger than Korea, we always hear about stars having drug overdose (Heath Leger) but never suicide? Disputes are always settled through lawsuits and scandals are handled by laying low (Michael Jackson), not by death? A director of Choi Jin Sil's drama commented that because Koreans have strong emotions towards love, family and their country (we can vow to that after watching all these Korean dramas). Korean actors/actresses are relatively pure and simple (I guess he meant compared to other countries), so they tend to have more sensitive and fragile emotions. Well, what do you think?

Now my mood is even lower after I read this 'earnest request' from BOF! Yong Joon has always been the target of Korean media scrutiny. He has his own principles and never plays by anyone's rules. It's his sincere and true-to-oneself's character which I admire, but also worry about. He loves his family so much and is always accomodating and considerate of our 'wants' to see him. Now it gets to a point that the chasing cars are actually endangering his life and privacy, I am really worried.

As much as I cheer for those sisters who can see him by sheer chance and am grateful for the news that he's doing fine, I find that these orchestrated 'wait & meet' is too 'planned' and not 'romantic' anymore (haha, what am I saying?). Moreover, if it is causing disturbance and danger to our precious prince, I hope the media and tour organizers will ease off tailing Yong Joon. Well, it's the law of supply and demand. Now that BOF has made a request, do you think the fans will comply?

source: KOB Notice
title: An earnest request to Family members
dated: 2008-10-02

Greetings BYJ family members,

Autumn has finally come after a long summer.
We hope all family members have a great autumn day.

We have an earnest request to you.
These days we found a lot of tour program that has a plan to follow BYJ’s every action in Korea.

It could infringe on BYJ’s private life and cause a dangerous situation since they drive rapidly to chase BYJ’s car, so we are really worried about the family members’ safety.

Besides, someone misunderstand this kind of tour as an official program of BOF, so we need to ask officially to refrain from travelling using this kind of tour program.

We hope you all kindly understand this request.
Thanks for your love and care about BYJ.

Best regards,


Anonymous said...

This is very sad indeed,
in fact I was worried about his privacy, just by the rumors, but I did not know of this.

I hope all fans considere his safety first, and let him be.


I send you and email.

bb said...

hi jaime,

yea, it's sad to see that some people see no way out of whatever situation they're in. you know, i'm a realist, but hopefully an optimistic one. i've always thought that we always have a choice; even when we say we don't have a choice, we do. we can choose to walk away, we can choose to ignore the malicious sayings and choose to believe those close and dear to us... these are all choices...

it's just so sad that some people feel that they're being pushed to the limit and that their only way out to end it all is to really end it all.


Anonymous said...

I rarely comment-and enjoy a status of being in the background and observing. This latest incident with a notice from BOF has me very worried. I have relatives "in the business" although they are star status, these indivduals are in positions to see the daily danger to those who work in the movie/music industry. This stalking is extremely dangerous and harmful in more ways than the ordinary person can realize. Its really bad in the US, so I can only imagine how invasive it is to artist such as BYJ. Yes its nice to see him, its even nicer if you can take a picture, shake his hand, etc. But the stalking has got to stop. I love watching the man, but do not need to know his every move. Aplogies to the sisters who post his every move. But please, please lets encourage all those tour groups to stop this stalking of our prince. Can the government intercede and stop the tour groups from coming anywhere near his residence or his places of interest? How can we help?

jaime said...

Hi anonymous,

I think we all feel the same. We love him and can't have enough of him. These tour companies spot the opportunity there and capitalize on it. Actually it started even before TWSSG began filming. There were tour groups which went to Jeju only to see a bunch of constructions and no Yong Joon. And then we kept hearing about fans standing outside the filming site in freezing cold for hours waiting for Yong Joon to go to the washroom!

Many times Yong Joon has gently pleaded for fans not to wait for him for hours, or enjoy rest of Korea when travelling there. He even plans to make his own travel album to attract the fans to sightsee while in Korea instead of waiting for him. This kind and considerate man has dropped so many hints to his fans and yet nobody seems to take his words seriously. Now I hope when they realize that it's actually causing danger to our precious prince by chasing him, they can control their own wants and give Yong Joon some room to breathe.

As far as what we can help, BYJ's family is probably the most influential power for each other. Just as we are quick and accurate in spreading his news and sharing information (thanks to all the translating sisters), I think we can remind each other not to do anything that will infringe on Yong Joon's privacy and hurt him.
If we love him as family, we should treasure and protect him.

I was talking with a Japanese sister tonight and she said maybe she is a bad kazoku (family) because she only watches Yonsama's DVDs. I said actually this is probably what Yong Joon wants us to do : to have our own lives and live responsibly. When he has new projects out, we will be there to support his work and cheer for him.

Naturally it's every fan's dream to meet her idol, maybe shake his hands and talk to him, hoping that he remembers and recognizes her. But just like meeting a friend or lover in one's life, it's all in the fate. Legally, I don't think Yong Joon will even contemplate suing the tour companies when it involves his family. maybe that explains the heavy security every time he goes out. He will just continue to suffer and accomodate his fans. What can I say, I have witnessed the overwhelming love of the Japanese sisters towards Yong Joon (not the same people who go to Korea). Let's have faith with the Japanese family and hope they will stop enrolling in these tours.

Thank you for leaving me a comment and express your concern. please take care!

regards ... jaime

jaime said...

dear moontime,

yes me too, i became very worried for his physical and psychological health when the fans are giving him so much pressure.

I think Yong Joon always likes to do things on his own term. If he wants to see his family up close, he decided to stand on a float and circulate around the stadium to see us. If he wants to be left alone (which I think is most of the time), the fans are certainly putting him into a very difficult and exhausting situation.

sorry, I received your email already, i will reply soon, ok?

love .. jaime

jaime said...

hi hi princess,

i think you are very blessed to be so strong and able to handle difficult situations. You are right, as long as we are still healthy, there is pretty much nothing we cannot resolve or walk away from.

I felt pretty beaten up yesterday thinking how useless I was when I couldn't even reserve the Yokohama Concert in Japanese (despite cloudnine's clear and detailed instructions). I just studied and studied again last night. And Yes, today I am still useless in Japanese but I feel better because at least I tried and I will try again tomorrow.

Before I knew Yong Joon, challenges like these, I would have quitted a long time ago. After I knew him, because of his determination and own example, I have that courage to go on. He is really an angel on earth!

love ... jaime

Anonymous said...

Hi Jaime,

The notice is rather too late, I think and what worries me is this may not have reached to those who really need to know. I've alwayes thought what LCK was doing is nothing but 'stalking'.

Another thing is those fans(who go to Korean just to see him) are never satisfied with 'once in a lifetime chance'. I know HRH is that much attractive and unresistible.

cloud nine

Anonymous said...

Dear Jaime and Baebies:
We all have civil liberties -- freedom of expression and communication, freedom of the press, and freedom to go anywhere. But the freedom of expression is not absolute. In fact, one's freedom of expression ends where it infringes the right to privacy of the other.
The cardinal rule, both in the West and East, is do not cause harm to others as well as you do not cause harm to yourself.
I hope that Bae Yong Joon is protected not only by his managers and bodyguards and sensible family, but also by angels both in heaven and on earth.
Sarang Hamnida.
josephine pasricha

bb said...

actually it started from AS... there were fans (not just from japan) who actually stayed at samcheok for days just to see him.

and i've heard of fans who would fly out to seoul, then travel to samcheok every friday night, and then fly back home every sunday night... the cycle went on and on... can you imagine? every weekend? holy moses...

and during that time, there were already incidents of fans bribing his staff and/or people who had access to his schedule... i've heard of at least one incident where one of those 'informants' was 'caught' by bof and sacked after some disciplinary action.

and i had also witnessed firsthand how crazy some (not all) fans could get when he's present. they would push and bulldoze their way to the front. they would clamor and run after his vehicle in a dangerous way...

and then there were all those stories of fans grabbing him...? there were at least two incidents that i had heard of how his arm was actually scratched by the fans from all the jostling...


then again, sometimes i think the man himself is sort of to be 'blamed'... we all read about how he's always smiling and waving when he sees the waiting fans. don't you all get the feeling that he's not exactly irritated? and for those who had seen him wave and greet them with no hint of annoyance at all, they would only want to go again. and for those who have not seen him, but have read all these accounts, surely they would be tempted to join the tour groups to see the dashing man flashing his beautiful smile and doing his trademark wave?

sometimes, i also don't know what to think... would i rather that he show a stoic face to the waiting fans? would that discourage them?

and... you know what the worst thing is? it's that the most frantic of fans don't even go online. so what do they know about the notice that BOF has posted?

and it's not the first time they've posted a notice like this. it didn't work before, and i don't think it will work this time.

it's always a difficult one, this one. no way out of this one...? maybe...

and maybe that's why he has to resort to going overseas just to have a breather.

and... i wonder if he's even able to embark on that 'beauty of korea' project.

tonight, i think of wuri yong joon as the poor rich man.

and that thought that i've always harboured in my mind surfaces again... at the rate we're going, we're just driving him to quit showbiz earlier....

bb said...

oh my... sorry, just saw how long-winded my comment was :p

Anonymous said...

I agree with the next to last comment. Yes he does seem to encourage his fans - but they are his livelyhood. Where would he be without them? Its a catch 22 situation. But there still has to be some kind of space between fans and BYJ. These fans need to know that he is not a god, that he is not supernatural, and he is human like all the rest of us. How would these fans like to live in a fishbowl all their lives? I just get so frustrated.... all of us online seem to share the same feelings - my thought many times has been 'is there someone in his organization that is leaking information? letting certain people know when and where he will be?' I'm just ranting here, so thanks for "listening."

jaime said...

dear cloudnine,

yeah, I feel the same way. At first, I appreciated LCK's updates on the progress of TWSSG filming. Isn't it true that TWSSG Production and LCK had a deal one point in time that it could bring fans to tour the set?

But almost a year after TWSSG broadcast and LCK is still reporting YJ's everyday move?? That kind of turned me off knowing that they are staking out Yong Joon. No wonder when YJ went to the US, LCK (mr. Koh) sounded disappointed in the updates because they had no business anymore.

Yes, I heard about it all the time that seeing him is addictive. It's so sad if some sisters turn this admiration into addiction and have to see him over and over again at all cost. How many times is enough?

love ... jaime

jaime said...

yes yes josephine,

let's hope so. I pray that yong joon is protected by his angels, both in heaven and on earth. Hmmmm, I always thought we family are here to protect and support him. looks like some are not behaving accordingly .....

love ... jaime

jaime said...

hi hi princess ,

thank you for your super duper long comments, so many good points, i love reading it.

Yes, I still remember reading in your blog about 2 fans playing with his ponytail at the airport. The first thing that came to my mind was : what happened to respect - both self and for others? There are many types and degrees of fans, some are attracted by his physical beauty, which is inevitable. Others dig deeper and learn to love his character and values.

I do beleive that 'friends' are an extension of yourself and and they tend to learn from each other, good or bad. From the very beginning of this fandom, I was fortunate enough to know considerate and refined ladies like you, cloudnine, camille and many many others who have influenced me on how to love and support BYJ. For those fans who think fandom is to get close to their idol, they tend to group together and encourage each other's actions. Thus there is this insatiable demand to know every details of his private life, and these tour companies are born.

I feel in Yong Joon's situation in Korea, he is often being criticized by the media, people in the industry and even fellow Koreans, he is especially touched by the overwhelming love from Japan. Since he is still so pure and sincere, he sees these burning love in the eyes of his adoring fans and he is very touched. He always says that he is so grateful of the love he received from his family and he does not know how to repay us. So he is always showing us his smile and his good health to make us happy.

To be honest princess, if it really comes down to his safety, (it will be painful but) I will be happy to see him quitting showbiz.
But looks like he has too much love and plans for acting to quit this early, right? crossing my fingers :)

thanks for the comments. good night!

love ... jaime

jaime said...

hi anonymous,

thanks for ranting again! Yeah, I agree, it requires other people's discipline, so it is out of his and our control. As princess said, there is no solution :(

still hope some fans will come to the senses and not chase after yong joon.

regards ... jaime

Anonymous said...


Could not resist leaving a comment after "hearing" what fans actually do to him when they have the chance to be near him. Playing his pony tail?! Whatever are they thinking?

Stars are just people and they should have their privacy. Already I feel that Yong Joon recognizes that being a public figure, having paparazzi dogging him is inevitable and he seems to accept this as part of the job scope of being an actor (this is my perception and I may not be right). But to have tour groups of fans following his every step... *sign*

-- touched

Anonymous said...

On the note of "No way out...", I agree with bb that it is all about choices. Our life is not only ours; it also belongs to those who love us and whom we love. At the low points of our lives, we just have to bite it and ride it out.

My husband had a very close friend who passed away at 32 due to illness. He was at his prime, with a good job, on the verge of being married, but his life was taken aways from him. During his few years, he suffered, but he braved on, till the choice was taken from his hands.

This is all the motivation that I need to live on.

-- touched

Lin Chen said...

Hi Jaime,
So may discussion about the matter! I just wish to say we are all the same in loving the princess. But a lot of sisters can not control their love, they just think of their wants, not YJ's. We can understand that fellings even we don't accept, the thing is how to help him to get more time for himself. He only can be glory more if he has enough time and pace for thinking, study, entertainment, etc as normal people.
Sometime I feel so sorry for him since he is very lonely and has no freedom. He can not make friends easily, can not do whatever he wants to. But now, more serious, it comes to unsafe for him. It make me recall Miss Diana.

Much worry for YJ nowadays, esp just after Korean Stars suicide deaths, he also has a lot of pressure, I guess...

Love him too much but I never think I can see him in real life. The chance is too, tooooo small. I please myself by imagining how he is or what i can do if i see him, that is all!

Wish him always be safe and sound.

Love you all.

Take care

jaime said...

hi touched,

sorry for the late reply. unfortunately, seems like the man we love is suffering from this kind of 'public' lifestyle. I don't know how long one can endure it. He is so successful and rich now and could have chosen to just walk away from it all, but I think he loves his family too much to leave us behind. So he continues to smile and keep our hearts warm.

I guess we can only pray that he'll be healthy and happy always.
Thank you for your comment.

love ... jaime

jaime said...

Hi lin chen,

The car chase reminds me of the late Princess Diana too. She was so elegant and loved by the public, the media never seemed to have enough of her.

Remember Michael Jackson built that Neverland compound that has an amusement park, zoo and circus in his own backyard so he doesn't have to go out. Maybe Yong Joon is also building his own fortress so he can do things he likes without leaving home. Like princess said, the poor rich man! sigh!

thank you for leaving me a comment.

love ... jaime