Saturday, September 1, 2007

BYJ Syndrome

hi hi my dear sisters ........ still remember how you reacted when you first saw these pictures that he attended the wedding of SSH's manager? I remember my jaws literally dropped on the floor and I didn't even bother to pick them up! :)

(published in April 2006)

In light of latest series of stunningly beautiful pictures unfolding our King in action : It is reported that ALL FEMALE subjects in the Bae Kingdom ranging from age 14 to 114 are experiencing the following allergic reactions :

- shortness of breath
- irregular heartbeat or more serious, sudden heart malfunction
- fixation of eyeballs on computer screen
- a sudden gush of blood to the brain causing mind block
- freezing of selected body parts : arms, legs, fingers
- uncontrollable facial expression such as protruding eyeballs, mouth wide open, jaw dropping or even drooling
- stuttering or loss of speech
- hot flushes

Fortunately, the above symptoms are all temporary until you snap yourself out of it or yell for someone to drag you away from the computer. Unfortunately, the longer term damage is suffered by the employers and the families of these female subjects. These ladies become totally paralysed and unproductive for the rest of the day because of the after effect – daydreaming or fantasizing!

According to my humble diagnosis, we ladies are suffering from the highly contagious, globally popular BYJ SYNDROME. After consistently being exposed to this super sexy and handsome man, we may exhibit some or all of following SYMPTOMS (depending on the degree of obsession) :

- switch in speech (subject will subconsciously blurt out a foreign language, namely Korean, “eg. ken-tsan-nyo?” in front of puzzling family and frowning husband)

- switch in audio (insistence on selecting Korean in DVD audio even though the subject does not know what the heck it means, just to listen to the sexy and velvety voice of the king)

- change in taste buds (subject includes hot and spicy Korean food in regular diet disregarding temporary tongue explosion and permanent pimples eruption on face)

- newly acquired habits (subject will bow to anybody on any occasion in any directions leading to premature neck and lower back injury)

- finally, the most devastating for us all : the Ever-Expanding Buttline!!! (prolonged sitting in front of the computer holding the mouse and munching on anything edible not only cause us Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, and also major expansion on body areas we don’t need!)

(((DISCLAIMER : please excuse my ignorance in the Korean culture and medical terminology and treat the above symptoms simply for laughs. I hold the highest respect for BYJ and the Korean sisters.)


Now for my self-prescribed REMEDIES (MUST be administered by your Highness BYJ HIMSELF together with the subject) :

- a romantic weekend getaway to Paris (I heard a thundering yell from the crowd “You must be OUT OF YOUR MIND! Not even in your next life!”) …… Ok, ok, I hear you. I am way out of line here. How about ……

- a candlelight dinner by the Han River? (yelling again “NOT A CHANCE!”) …… But But, I promise I won’t eat a single bite and pack my dinner ‘take-out’ for you. Hehehe, who needs to eat anyway when I can just stare at Mr.Gorgeous the whole night? No? No deal?? Ummm, maybe ..….

- a bear hug and a short kiss? (crowd starts to grumble impatiently “DREAM ON!” …… Gee, you gals are tough! Can I at least have a ……

- a polite handshake? (“TRY AGAIN”) ..…. Okkkkk, I give up! I will settle if I may just ……

- chase and scream after his limousine along with a few other hundred sisters just to catch a glimpse of HRH’s gorgeous face? (crowd is finally content “THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!”)


In the future, I’d just like to request those kind-hearted sisters who publish these out-of-this-world dreamy BYJ pictures, please post a warning sign ahead of time like :

- STARE AT YOUR OWN RISK
- AVOID STARING DIRECTLY INTO THE BEAUTIFUL OBJECT
- STARING TOO LONG CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH

(haha, after this was posted in Quilt, Korachan actually posted a few artworks with these warnings on them! Thanks yuko, you're so quick and witty!)

Dear fellow sisters, if you still can’t be cured from the BYJ syndrome after exhausting the above suggestions. You might as well enjoy being love-struck by BYJ. I count myself very lucky to be able to know about him (even though being so far away). If you can’t fight them, might as well join them.

As for myself, my doctor has officially registered me on the high potential list for occasional heart-malfunction and mind-blockage due to constant visual overdose of an UFO (Ultra ‘Fabulicious’ Obba)! My case is hopeless!

22 comments:

vegasbyj said...

My dear Jaime you have made my day.
As I sat here reading your post, I began to smile thinking "yeah I do that and that", then I started to think to myself how to make these things come true...only to realize....it ain't gonna happen for me...but with good running shoes I can chase that limo or range rover or or whatever he's riding that day.

I make sure I take my heart meds at night so that when I wake up the next morning and see this wonderful man, my heart doesn't skip a beat.

Is there no cure for BYJ Syndrome?

Loved this one!!

jaime said...

hehe vegas, I'll have my orthotics custom-fitted so I can join you to chase HRH's limo, ok?

judy said...

Hi Chinggu!

Hahahhahahah! You really did make my day & this early, TOO! What a delight to read this before starting my morning & cheering me when I needed this very badly. I will definitely go on with my day with a very big smile on my lips(actually from ear to ear, hehehehh!) when I remember how witfully you describe each & every sympton, cure, advice, warning & finally giving up on the syndrome since no cure is a sure remedy for this airborne, uupppss, no pc borne ailment, hehehehehh!

What really made me flip is the effect this syndrome has to our dear family in our house plus the 1st ever "medically-proven butt enhancing(or should I say increasing, hahhahaha!) effect" this can be. I believe in about 6 months time, all Baesisters will be able to flaunt their delicious big booty in front of Miss J. Lo & have them all reported to Guiness Book of World Records for the 1st ever group of None Clinically/Medically Enhanced Behind all because of the one & only His Royal Handsomest!

Thanks for this & keep blogging coz you'll have an early visitor each morning from now on.

Love yah!
Judy

jaime said...

good morning chinggu. ....should we thank him or blame him for our gigantic behind?? hmmmm..... I'm still debating while sitting on IT! ;)

xiaoyi said...

Dear Jaime,

Thanks for sharing dear! You've done a SUPERB job!!!

Thank you for your friendship too!!

Love, xiaoyi

vegasbyj said...

what shall we call ourselves?

The BBBB - BAEutiful Brainy Big Butt Baesisters?

(only in jest - not meant to offend anyone)

AND - get your shoes ready. My orthotics are ready to go....

jaime said...

hahaha vegas, BBBBB fits us perfectly! You are the Baeutiful Brainy one, and I am the Big Butt! No offense at all, I dare say w/ us constantly sitting in front of the computer, there is no shortage of BBBBB around :0 Good one pal!

jaime said...

dear xiaoyi,

thank Q for your kind words. You are always so cheerful and kind to all sisters. We are lucky to have sisters like you in the BYJ family. Please take care!

love ... jaime

vegasbyj said...

roflmAo!! (one way to get it smaller, no?)

my B's would stand for Big Belly...lol

so...our butts get bigger and our eyes get blurry and our brains become.....???? but our hearts are filled with LOVE! and all of this for one MAN! Not so sure I'd want him to see me looking so "glam" like this....;p

MYMY said...

Jaimey onni!!!!! finally u have a blog! yipppeee!
and it was ur birthday? sorry didnt know ^^;
happy belated birthday!

liezle said...

finally you have your own blog! congratulations! ^^

you never fail to make us laugh with your posts. i needed this after a long drive. looking forward to your next posts.

hey btw, thank you so much ^^ 'love them all. ^^

bb said...

am reminded again of how in awe i was of your witty writing when you first 'came out of the closet'... write on, gal...

BBBB? well, i definitely have a big behind. in fact, i look even more J-Lo than J-Lo from behind :p

jaime said...

hi mymy ..... welcome back! did you have a fun trip? You caught up w/ all your BYJ news yet? I hate to say that dreadful 6-letter word - SCHOOL! ru ready for it? My son is absolutely depressed, especially after that fun fun fun trip in PokemonLand!

All the best in your coming school year!

jaime said...

Hi hi liezle .... so you make your way here?! thank you for dropping by. I know how busy you are monitoring the SOOMPI thread. Thanks for all your great effort!

love ... jaime

jaime said...

hehehe bb, look at the bright side. We BBBBB will take up more standing room when we wait for HRH, may it be at the airport or outside of his hotel. There is a better chance that he can spot us. So hehe, the BIGGER the better :)

bb said...

mmm... must say i'd never felt this good about my 'big-ness' :p

vegasbyj said...

I AGREE!
Big IS Beautiful!

bb - J Lo from behind. Certainly you jest!

MYMY said...

hi jaimey onni!
I re-read this wonderful post of urs and i am kindda hurt. why? u said 18-81....
ToT
but really, i also have those syndromes even though im OP (out of place)....
:p just joking

one week was so fast i really want to go back, i have so many stuffs to do yet, :(
and yah SCHOOL!!!!

bb said...

hehe, mymy... your jaime onni wrote this before you came along la... :p

jaime said...

oh thank you my princess bb for saving me!

oops sorry my dear mymy, it's definitely an oversight on my part. How careless of me, especially when I know how much you feel you are one of us (I mean us - the >age14 crowd ;) So do you find the following amendment more to your liking, my sweetie :

from age 14 to 114!

You think I basically have the entire hormone-raging female BYJ population covered?? :)

MYMY said...

ahh... my comment didnt appeared...

i wrote that i was just really joking!!!! :p
(shy) thanks jaimey onni!
mymy waves to bb onni :)

liezle said...

hi hi again jaime! i miss seeing your name in soompi. hope everything is well with you. i really reading your entries you're such a good writer.

anyway, sis i'm sharing this post of yours in byj thread at soompi. as you know there are many new fans of yong joon and i just thought of sharing this to them.

hope you don't mind.

always,
liezle