(published in April 2006)
In light of latest series of stunningly beautiful pictures unfolding our King in action : It is reported that ALL FEMALE subjects in the Bae Kingdom ranging from age 14 to 114 are experiencing the following allergic reactions :
- shortness of breath
- irregular heartbeat or more serious, sudden heart malfunction
- fixation of eyeballs on computer screen
- a sudden gush of blood to the brain causing mind block
- freezing of selected body parts : arms, legs, fingers
- uncontrollable facial expression such as protruding eyeballs, mouth wide open, jaw dropping or even drooling
- stuttering or loss of speech
- hot flushes
Fortunately, the above symptoms are all temporary until you snap yourself out of it or yell for someone to drag you away from the computer. Unfortunately, the longer term damage is suffered by the employers and the families of these female subjects. These ladies become totally paralysed and unproductive for the rest of the day because of the after effect – daydreaming or fantasizing!
According to my humble diagnosis, we ladies are suffering from the highly contagious, globally popular BYJ SYNDROME. After consistently being exposed to this super sexy and handsome man, we may exhibit some or all of following SYMPTOMS (depending on the degree of obsession) :
- switch in speech (subject will subconsciously blurt out a foreign language, namely Korean, “eg. ken-tsan-nyo?” in front of puzzling family and frowning husband)
- switch in audio (insistence on selecting Korean in DVD audio even though the subject does not know what the heck it means, just to listen to the sexy and velvety voice of the king)
- change in taste buds (subject includes hot and spicy Korean food in regular diet disregarding temporary tongue explosion and permanent pimples eruption on face)
- newly acquired habits (subject will bow to anybody on any occasion in any directions leading to premature neck and lower back injury)
- finally, the most devastating for us all : the Ever-Expanding Buttline!!! (prolonged sitting in front of the computer holding the mouse and munching on anything edible not only cause us Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, and also major expansion on body areas we don’t need!)
(((DISCLAIMER : please excuse my ignorance in the Korean culture and medical terminology and treat the above symptoms simply for laughs. I hold the highest respect for BYJ and the Korean sisters.)
Now for my self-prescribed REMEDIES (MUST be administered by your Highness BYJ HIMSELF together with the subject) :
- a romantic weekend getaway to Paris (I heard a thundering yell from the crowd “You must be OUT OF YOUR MIND! Not even in your next life!”) …… Ok, ok, I hear you. I am way out of line here. How about ……
- a candlelight dinner by the Han River? (yelling again “NOT A CHANCE!”) …… But But, I promise I won’t eat a single bite and pack my dinner ‘take-out’ for you. Hehehe, who needs to eat anyway when I can just stare at Mr.Gorgeous the whole night? No? No deal?? Ummm, maybe ..….
- a bear hug and a short kiss? (crowd starts to grumble impatiently “DREAM ON!” …… Gee, you gals are tough! Can I at least have a ……
- a polite handshake? (“TRY AGAIN”) ..…. Okkkkk, I give up! I will settle if I may just ……
- chase and scream after his limousine along with a few other hundred sisters just to catch a glimpse of HRH’s gorgeous face? (crowd is finally content “THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!”)
In the future, I’d just like to request those kind-hearted sisters who publish these out-of-this-world dreamy BYJ pictures, please post a warning sign ahead of time like :
- STARE AT YOUR OWN RISK
- AVOID STARING DIRECTLY INTO THE BEAUTIFUL OBJECT
- STARING TOO LONG CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH
(haha, after this was posted in Quilt, Korachan actually posted a few artworks with these warnings on them! Thanks yuko, you're so quick and witty!)
Dear fellow sisters, if you still can’t be cured from the BYJ syndrome after exhausting the above suggestions. You might as well enjoy being love-struck by BYJ. I count myself very lucky to be able to know about him (even though being so far away). If you can’t fight them, might as well join them.
As for myself, my doctor has officially registered me on the high potential list for occasional heart-malfunction and mind-blockage due to constant visual overdose of an UFO (Ultra ‘Fabulicious’ Obba)! My case is hopeless!