Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Destiny


Hi dear sisters ....... thank you again for all your insightful comments on the issue of ‘relationship’. Newbie and a few sisters have touched on ‘Destiny’ - a concept so intangible, elusive yet seems to be an ‘end all’ answer to that delicate issue of ‘love & relationship’. To put it scientifically (hahaha Dr. Jaime's definition), destiny is ‘at the RIGHT place, at the RIGHT time with the RIGHT person’.


This analogy suddenly springs up in my mind : the conveyor belt sushi. Huh? Sushi?? I am sure you’ve all been to a kaiten-zushi (回転寿司) restaurant before, those set-up with different types of sushi parading in front of you one after another. You spot the type of sushi you like, you simply pick it up from the moving belt when it comes in front of you. Now you know sushi come from different sea creatures (some you don't want to know), in different flavor, taste, texture and cut. They also range widely in supply and prices, some are fresh daily catches and come in abundance, some are scarce in supply and thereby high in demand. If you spot a dish that you want, you better pray that the guy/gal before you doesn’t grab it first! (or you can curse them and wish they get diarrhea :) Similarly if it takes you too long to decide, by the time you make up your mind, the sushi has already moved on and beyond your reach. On the flip side, there are also different types of patrons - some are starving and grab the first dish that comes along. Some prefer to wait patiently for their favorite type, some don’t like anything they see and decide to order hot food from the kitchen. Some may not even want to eat and simply enjoy drinking their sake! When it’s time to leave, hopefully every patron has an enjoyable time with a full stomach!

Now, you're wondering what the heck is she babbling about? What does eating sushi have anything to do with Yong Joon's love life?? Hehe, I hope you are not offended by my using sushi to portray our chances (you know I don’t mean any disrespect :) Because I do believe there are many chances that pass in front of us during our lifetime. ‘When’ you are able and ready to take them all depends on your stage and choice in life. Obviously, different choices will lead you down different paths, but who can argue which path is better than the other? They are just different, that’s all! Sure we have all wondered one point or another about an ex-lover .......“What happens now if I married him ......?”, have you? (shhhhhh, no husband allowed to read this, huh :)


Having said all that, being a person with religious faith, I truly believe that everyone in this world has someone out there destined for him/her. However, it doesn’t mean that we are bound to our destiny. You are still given a choice to accept or reject it. Let me give you a more concrete example, like your career choice. Yes, you are great at your current profession now, but how do you know you won’t excel in another field too? Yong Joon always talked about how he stumbled into being an actor, he obviously recognizes that acting is his destiny now. But that does not deter him from realizing his other dreams as an entrepreneur and cultural ambassador, does it? It’s all about choices and how much efforts you are willing to invest in it, right?


My gosh, this is supposed to be a BYJ blog, what happens to our precious prince's love interests in all these discussions? Isn't he the one who stirred up all our curiosity in the first place? Hehe, chakachan, jenny and phuong expressed that it’s perfectly fine if Yong Joon wants to stay single. Chakachan wrote : “Lonely is a state of mind, but if you're happy with what you've got and take responsibilities of your actions and accept the fact that there is something beyond being married..you'll be fine. Marriage is a dream world..but being married is another thing. It is sacred and it should only happen once in your life..there is a special person for everyone, but you're given a choice if you should stay with this person for the rest of your life or go your own path.” I couldn't agree more :)


Lastly, may I share this with you, my past experience (or should I say failure?) has taught me an important lesson in life : you set the level of expectation, you work towards meeting your own expectation (not others’), then you’ll have no one to answer to. I’ll use myoce’s comment to sum up – “Our destiny is our hands, we control our own happiness.” Thank you dear sisters for pouring out your hearts and share with us here, it’s been both educational and emotional for me. We’ll try to talk something funny and lighter next time, ok? I can't be too serious for too long, you know :)

14 comments:

Yee said...

Dear lady and sisters,

Thanks very much for these interesting discussions, hope our HRH has happy life no matter with a wife and kids or as a single. But as a happyly married person, I really wish him to experience a happy married life, raising his children who he made them out of love, with the love of his life.
Meanwhile, I am happy to know that he is enjoying time by experiencing the things he had never done before like making kimchi, making ceramics .. how exciting. I think this Travel book is a nice break from his tiring/demanding show biz.

love,
Y.
P.S.Khine is missing that zushi restaurant very much, been talking about it almost everyday.

Layla said...

HIHIHI Jamie....

Wow this topic is even hotter than i thought....totally agreed with what u said Jamie. Also let's not forget rule no 1 in marriage, that is the right marital partner. The biggest mistake we could make is choosing the wrong marital partner. Then, u have to know what u want in a relationship - yr values, life vision and goals, requirements and needs so as to achieve a blissful relationship...right?
And, u choose someone compatible with yr own way of seeing life to avoid feeling isolated and misunderstood, a partner that we can laugh with and surprise each other to keep the love alive...
Enough of that, hope he's happy with what he does...Bye Jamie...am watching my fav drama "Surgeon Bong Dal Hee"....

Love....Layla

phuong said...

Dear Jaime and all Bae sisters ,
I totally agree with your definition of Destiny and we actively control our destiny , our happiness and our life .
Look all the pictures of YJ , he seems content , happy with his life at this moment , i wonder why we have to worry too much about his love life ? just because we love him as our son , our youngest brother , our nephew , i'm sure that which he path he chooses ,being married
or single he always having our
blessings .

chakachan said...

Ola all U Baesisters!!! Chakachan in the house!!! Whew!! how come there's only 3 comments??? did we run out of things to say??? ha ha ha just kidding!!!
like a really nice story? well, let's all take our seats now children and read this story.

There's a young lady who became a breadwinner of her family( she was 2nd to the eldest of 7 children.)she finished a short course in typing and couldn't afford to go to college, so she had to work to help her mom and send her brothers and sisters to school. she landed a job in telecommunications company at 19.

around this time a babyfaced man, in his late 20's was about to finish his course in engineering in college when he decided to work.( he was the 2nd to the youngest child in the family and the only son after his eldest brother, died in the US Navy in WWII. )

When this man saw the young woman for the first time in the office hallway..he knew that she was IT. he would buy her free lunch from the office canteeen, taking her home from work, and making sure that he had all the spare time for his sweet nothings...it lasted for 4 months..because on the 5th month, he proposed...how?? he called everyone from his family to go to the young lady's house and ask for her hand. The young lady had no idea how fast he was...she was soo shocked when they came over to her house and spoke to her parents for them to be married the next month!!! Her father cried to tears, because she was a very hardworking lady and to loose her was painful for him.

But eventually they married and had a child, a daughter. they waited for 9 years to have a child, went to every church and prayed that god would grant them a child..and so it was.

when their child was 7 years old, an offer was given to this woman to work abroad. The man told her to go for it, because she might never have this chance again..so she did, with a very heavy heart, she left. She was alone for 3 years. On her 4rth year in the company, her daughter and husband was asked to join her. Her husband was a very successful professor in a university. this was his dream to become an educator, but he gave it up to be with his wife.

Living abroad and giving up on a dream and a successful job was a hard blow for her husband. People always made fun of him, because he stayed at home, doing her household chores, while the wife goes to work. The pain of having his wife as the breadwinner in the family was a reality he had to face and bare for the coming years. He stood by her, because he loved her. He was his wife. He chose to be with her even letting go of all his dreams...it didn't matter what people say anymore. This was his destiny..

When their daughter grew up and turned 17, he was given a chance to work again..as a typist. But he as getting old and his fingers were not as fast..so he lost the chance. but what he lost in his professional life, he gained respect through alot of really great friends. true friends who adored him...he studied languages to even communicate better with the natives..and they loved him. he never stopped teaching..even if it was playing the piano or reading hebrew...

his wife was always his priority..so he spoiled her. he would do things for her so that she wouldn't worry anymore and she won't be tired from a long days work.

the man died in 2000. he died from heart attack in africa on UN day in the middle of the celebration, in a small hallway of the hotel. He died suddenly and instantly. This was his 3rd attack. The earlier attacks he had, he never told his wife..for fear that he might worry and get sick herself.

The wife died 8 months later. She was soo lonely being apart from this man that she could no longer see, nor touch nor hear..she couldn't bare the thought of him leaving her.. she died from bone cancer in 2001.

the daughter was me...

Anonymous said...

Dear Dr. Jaime and Bae sisters:
For a man or woman to be happy, he/she has to be a complete person in two areas:
First, he /she needs to be fulfilled in his/her career, whatever it is, science or art or home.
Second, he/she needs to be fulfilled in his relationships -- mate, children, family, work associates, friends.
There is no right or wrong mate/friend really. We meet them at the right time for the right reason, and they are the proper partner necessary for a certain phase of our journey. We grow and then outgrow our partners/friends.
I am sure that if Bae Yong Joon married in his youth, he would have outgrown his partner by now considering how far his destiny has brought him. And if he marries now in his maturity, hopefully, this will be the more mature, permanent and universal choice for all seasons -- someone who will always look beautiful and attractive even from her back, as Bae Yong Joon has described his dream girl!
Having a relationship with a soul mate is a form of prayer.
Sarang Hamnida
josephine pasricha

Anonymous said...

ollah!ey!

i don't know what got into me today but what's up with the back???does he has a fetish for it or just one of his depth thoughts???puzzle???really???

well,,gals better take care our backs must be flawless all the time you'll never now!!!!hehehe

newbie

jaime said...

Hi dear Yee,

Yes, I agree. It's best for our prince to try doing things he always wanted to do. He may be too busy raising a family after he's married.

Oh sorry to hear that Khine is missing sushi, surely there are good sushi restaurants in LA? Please thank her for writing to me about Takarazuka, I'm getting hooked :)

love ... jaime

jaime said...

Hi Hi Layla,

you are right, choosing the wrong partner can be devastating for someone, eh? I think most marriages are decided based on instincts and affections rather than a cool head in weighing the pros and cons. We just have to rely on our good old instincts and some magic substance called LOVE to make it work, don't we? Thanks for writing to me.

love ... jaime

jaime said...

Hi HI phuong,

Yes, I think poor Yong Joon feels more pressure from people around him than from within about his love life. Hehe then, he just have to come out with more dramas and movies to keep us occupied so we don't have time to speculate :) Please take care!~

love .. jaime

jaime said...

HI JOsephine,

well said. We trust Yong Joon has the wisdom to know when and who is right for him :) ONe more winter month to bear, please take care!

love ... jaime

jaime said...

hehe newbie, Yong Joon does not have a fetish on his back. We fans though, do have a serious fetish on anything BYJ :)

love ..... jaime

jaime said...

dear chakachan,

thank you so much for sharing the beautiful love story of your parents with us. You are so blessed to be born and raised under them , and we are in turn so blessed to learn about this from you. Please take care!

love ... jaime

chakachan said...

hi hi hi ms. jaime,
i am writing to you from HongKong!! Yeah..it's D computer from the hotel room...he he he..Staying here for 4 days and practically shopping for the entire family..(my cousins, nephews and nieces!!!)!! whew!! how come they never run out of things to sell??. I've got everything on my list, but it seems like there is something even more better than d one that i got..ha ha ha..oh, we ladies!!! Behave!!!
you're very welcome for the story. as u get older, you realize what trials your parents went through..i'm very humbled with this experience...thanks for the acceptence and a new start to friendship...take care!!


MWHA!!!

jaime said...

Hi Hi chakachan again,

you are in HONG KONG?! have fun shopping and eating! I was there at Christmas, love the city :) Can you speak Cantonese there, but mose people speak English, right?
Have a great trip!

love .. jaime